7 things : One shots
by vampiie the loner chick
Summary: a collection of oneshot stories ranging from songs to real life expriences, Chapter 3 is up! All Kaname x Zero
1. 7 things

Disclaimer: I dnt own KaZe, They own each other.

To say Zero was angry was an understatement he was livid. Asuka had managed to get him and the damn vampire pureblood on writing the 7 things they hate and love about each other. This activity was a result when he and Kaname were fighting about which was better: Twilight or Harry Potter, and by coincidence Asuka was talking to someone and they were arguing so loud they didn't hear her hushing them to keep it down.

_**FlashBack**_

_**"Damn it Kuran, everyone knows that Harry Potter is much more better than twilight! No one really likes Twilight cause sparkly vampires are so lame!" Zero shouted getting tired of the fight but somehow didn't want it to end either having a heated argument with his boyfriend was so much fun**_

_**Kaname pouted "But Zero, sparkly vampires are what viewers love about the movie, and not to mention Bella's oh so obvious instability to with stand being apart from edward for so long!" he declared "and honestly I think Twilight reminds me of the both of us. I'm Edward who doesn't want the monster in me to consume my personal brand of heroine: Bella who is you, cause you gotta admit YOU can't live without me" Kaname finished with a triamphic smirk, and the smirk only got wider as he saw Zero turning pink due to the fact of being compared Bella they continued arguing, and each explanation on which movie/book is better the louder their voices became**_

_**Then Asuka came into the living room talking using her Nokia N8:"Yeah Asheena I know, Look you can come here whenever you want. I don't need a specifi-" Asuka paused when she heard all the commotion, she was slightly happy to see the sight presented before her, two of the most powerful beings in Cross academy: a Kiryuu vampire hunter and a Kuran pureblood prince arguing over something so ridiculous. Sweet!**_

_**"Hey Asuka, looks like there is a slight trouble going on there maybe I should call some other time?" She heard Ash suggested**_

_**"No! Don't hang up Ash just give me a sec" She then hurriedly turned her attention to the two arguing souls "Hey lovebugs! Could you keep it down a little!"**_

_**But the two kept arguing as if they didn't hear her, Zero just kept rambling about how the Olympics of Harry Potter beat baseball in Twilight, while Kaname kept talking about how Victoria could kick Valdemort's ass any day and how the addition of werewolves in the story kept enhancing it.**_

_**"Sorry Asu, I really can't hear you. I'll call you back again" She heard Ash apologize before the line went dead **_

_**"No! Ash wait!" the only response she got was the dial tone's**_

_**In the background she could still hear the two boys arguing. Asuka felt her eyebrow twitch then she turned around and smacked each boy at the head**_

_**"Ow! What the hell is that all about?" Kaname and Zero both asked at the same time while rubbing their aching heads**_

_**"For being so damn childish! I was talking to a friend and you guys were all shouting and since my friend couldn't hear me she hang up on me! Really she only loads every once a month!" Asuka shouted**_

_**"Well sorry if the damn prince of an ass won't admit that Harry Potter is sooo much better than Twilight!" Zero ironically said**_

_**Kaname just rolled his wine like eyes "No its because the hunter won't admit Twilight is better than Harry Potter"**_

_**They resumed arguing and suddenly stopped when they once again felt strong hands smacking their heads**_

_**"Grr! Alright since the both of you are obviously bored out of your pants why not do this activity" She looked at the both of them right in the eye so they won't interrupt on what she was gonna say "Why don't you right seven things that you hate and love about each other. And the reason why I wanted you to right only seven things other than the usual ten or five is because seven is my favorite number so deal with it" **_

_**End of FlashBack**_

So here he was in his room with a purple colored pen and a whole sheet of paper right in front of him

_'Honestly, of all the things she told us to do'_ Zero sighed heavily _'Oh well since I got nothing to do might as hell get this crap of an activity over with'_

Zero started to write in big bold cursive letters "The seven things I hate about Kaname Kuran"

Zero thought about that and he could write a million things he hates about his boyfriend

_'oh well might as well start from the seventh thing I hate most about him'_

7. **He's Vain**

Yep, One thing Zero's sure of is the pureblood is secretly vain, he would gladly take praise from everyone and still look like he doesn't care about them. Zero's a sole witness to the pureblood's hidden vainity, whenever somebody will praise him for his knowledge, power, legacy, kindness etc. The pureblood will talk about it all day with Zero, that's why Zero rarely praises the pureblood

6. **The Games he play**

Oh how Zero hated that game, the game where Kaname once used him as nothing but a shield a pawn if i may add. just for the sake of Yuuki, a pawn that he will be willing to kill and replace when he doesn't need it anymore, but here he is in love with the very person who just used him as a mere chess piece. He also hates chess cause that's the only sport he sucks at.

5. **He's Insecure**

Another thing Zero hates more than Kaname's vainity is that he's so insecure whenever Zero talks with some other guy than him. He'll get really jealous over the night class, Kaito and for the love of holy hell even the freaking chairman! And when Kaname gets so insecure he would immediately take the silver haired boy's arm and lead him to his bedroom for a 'little talk'

4. **Its obviously that he still likes HER**

Hey who said Zero can't be insecure! Come on; why wouldn't he be insecure when the majority of the pureblood's life revolved around Yuuki? He fed Zero blood cause he said that its all for Yuuki, he used the hunter as a pawn just for Yuuki, he would always smile when the klutz of a girl would blush at him. You know where this is going. The pureblood's world revolvers around Yuuki, yet even knowing all this Zero is still thankful that Kaname reserved a special place in his heart for Zero

3. **He made me laugh and cry**

Its annoying how the guy could easily make the level D into a laughing mess. May it be through a corny joke or maybe pranking Aidou once in a while, since obviously Kaname being around Zero helped him loosen up a bit. Plus Zero really can't believe he's writing this! Oh well since its only Asuna that's going to read this, He would've died if somebody else read that Kaname Kuran has shattered Zero Kiryuu's pride and actually made him cry through a fight about everything and everyone

2. **His friends are jerks**

Its a proven fact. Especially when the chocolate haired boy would act like the night class students. Zero remembers the days when all the night class would look down upon him for being a hunter and a low level D. His most hated member of the night class is Aidou Hanabusa its obvious that the blonde has feeling for the prince even when he's together with Akatsuki Kain. There is also Shiki Senri one of his favorites or in his ok list, cause Shiki doesn't give a shit as long as Zero doesn't try to hurt his precious Takuma Ichijou

1. **He makes me love him**

Zero hates the fact that the pureblood has broken down his mask and melted his heart with just a simple sentence "Its not all for Yuuki, I also care about you" and that very moment Zero knew something in their pawn-master relationship and he was right in turned into a love-hate relationship.

Zero sighed and looked at what he had written and read it over again for any false information. _'Its seems that its better if I right the other 7 things at the back'_

So Zero flipped the paper onto its back and wrote in the same bold cursive style "Seven things I love about Kaname Kuran" Zero suddenly paused and thought that he had much more great things to write about the pureblood than his list of bad things

7. **His Hair**

When their just resting under that sakura tree that one spring evening, Kaname's head was on Zero's lap, he was taking a nap while Zero silently observed the man's brown tresses having an inner argument with himself if it was ok to touch the hair of his boyfriend. After a whole 2 minutes of the inner discussion and took the risk, running his hand down the chocolate colored locks, after that Kaname opened one eye and asked why he had stopped, Zero just blushed and continued feeling Kaname's hair and the feeling was like touching the finest silk satin fabric

6. **His Eyes**

Whenever he and Kaname just had those moments when they are too engrossed with each other to move, Zero occupies his time getting drowned in the endless depths of Kaname's soul, seeing the various emotions that show what Kaname really feels he usually sees jealousy, lust, a lil bit of sadness and a whole lot of love. And he wonders if Kaname sees the same emotions running through his own lilac orbs cause as people say "The eyes are the windows of the soul"

5. **His Old Levis**

Zero just think Kaname's really sexy wearing casual faded out jeans. It makes him more human to not always look like Mr. Prim and Proper. Plus he loves Kaname's reaction whenever the guy looks between Zero's legs

4. **When we kiss**

Whenever Kaname kisses Zero, the hunter would always blush and feel like he's being controlled with the usage of the kiss, Zero would always find himself on Kaname's bed with various costumes put on him

3. **When he makes me laugh and cry**

Zero couldn't decide if this is a good or bad thing, but all he knows is he will always gladly share his laughter and tears when Kaname needs them

2. **When we hold hands**

Whenever Zero gets a nightmare a reassuring hand always intertwines with his and Zero knows that everything will be alright.

1. **He makes me love him**

This is also mind bending thing for Zero, Cause being in love with Kaname can be bad and good. Zero knows that Kaname will provide that he is longing for his whole miserable life, because the pureblood proved himself when he rescued Zero from Asato Ichijou which almost cost his own life

"And I am done!" Zero all but shouted. He placed the purple pen in his bag and began to re-read the things he wrote.'I can't believe its already been a year since that war happened'

Suddenly the door was slammed open and in came Asuka in view

"Are you done?" Asuka raised a brow in question and slowly walked away after she saw Zero nod

'I guess that's a command telling me to follow her' Zero once again sighed and left to follow Asuka they were rounding corners and walked in hallways. She finally stopped and Zero was a little bit curious as to why she stopped, he looked over her shoulder and saw Kaname sitting on fountain 'Wow my knight in night class armor'

"Alright let's get this over it and i want you to read the seven things you hate and love about each other. So Zero you first" Asuka pushed Zero in front of Kaname. And then with much reluctance Zero started to talk about the seven things he hated and lastly the seven things he loves about Kaname. Kaname me was shocked of Zero's list he was really touched!

"Nice! Alright Kaname Kuran your turn" Asuka's voice echoed

"Wait can I tell you guys next week I'm not quite done yet" Kaname announced

"Hmm. Fine... But be sure you're ready next week." Asuka told Kaname "Well. since I think your boredom was cured I think I'll call Asheena again. Bye guys"

As soon as Asuka was out of sight and out of hearing coverage Kaname immediately went over to Zero, grabbed his chin and kissed Zero passionately holding the kiss for a few more seconds and decided to kiss Zero over and over again until they were a panting mess

"Shall we continue this in my bedroom?" Kaname whispered into the ear of his boyfriend; Zero could only nod

THE NEXT DAY

Asuka sluggishly walked down the hallways of Kaein Cross' home silently heading to the living room and when she was about to turn the handle-

"I keep telling you Kaname Big Time Rush is better than Jonas Brothers, they have a cool show that will be having a season 3 and JoBro has? None!" Zero smiled

"And I tell you Jonas Brothers are a much mature band than your BTR." Kaname argued

Asuka sighed 'Looks like their bored again, but I wonder what their next argument will be? 2ne1 vs Girl's Generation?'

_'Well; at least we got them to write what they hate and love about each other mission accomplished!"_ Asuna suddenly chided

Asuka nodded "Yeah I guess you're right my alter ego" she looks at them and sighs "I just hope they won't reduce to arguing about which nursery rhyme is better"

Asuna sweatdropped _'I agree'_

END

A/N: So this story is a year after F**ACTS** which is not finished yet, and I don't know when I'll be able to go on and update my stories I assure you I haven't abandoned them, I just lack inspiration, time and other useless crap. Anyway back to what I was saying if you got confused to when did Kaname save Zero from Ichijou is actually gonna happen in FACTS I just dnt know when, Aww I gave away a spoiler, Oh well XD. I hope you know the song this is based off from if you don't go buy a television. Just kidding its called** 7 things by Miley Cyrus**. You might have heard the name of Asheena in **love332's VAMPIRE AND HUNTER**. so love332 I just borrowed ASHEENA from yah, And also this is an apology fic for love332 for me not updating endless love. I'm really really sorry. I'll try to finish it as soon as I got the time. And to all those reading this Oneshot collection is not always gonna be based on FACTS, some might be joined with,** Nekos, Vampires and Fighters **or maybe **Endless Love**, just not sure. anyway thanks for reading! read and review MY FIRST ONESHOT :)

**Vampiie is out of the building! **


	2. A Peverted Conversation

**Chapter Title: A perverted conversation **

**Summary: Sayori only wanted to sleep off class but she wasn't getting any of it due to a brown-haired perverted man. Hints of Kaname x femZero, mentions of preg but not really. alot of pervertedness and MAJOR OOC on all chars since I had to get them to act like us**

**A/N: So this conversation took place when the first honor of our class (a guy) sat next to me in our physics class. We were first talking about a club we both were in, and suddenly I got a little sleepy and it went downhill from then... **

_**Chapter 2 begins here!**_

Sayori Wakaba was feeling a little sleepy due to her physics subject suddenly getting quiet.

_'Ugh, Why does class have to start getting boring. I could fall asleep any moment now' _she murmured to herself. Sayori then looked to her side and was suprised to see their class' top student Kaname Kuran._'Oooooh I know I'll talk to Kuran so he could take my boredom away!' _

"Hey Kaname-kun" She poked his shoulder

"Hm?" Kaname acknowledged her poking silently listening to the teacher's lecture but Sayori was sure that he was getting bored as she was

"You're really boastful" She said in an insulting tone, making a really annnoyed face "Just because you're number one in the sci-math exam test"*

Kaname slowly looked her way; face free from any emotion but his eyes gave away his hidden curiosity "And may I ask, on why are you calling me boastful?" he asked eyebrows lightly going up "And what do you mean sci-math test?"

Sayori looked at him suprised "You mean you don't know?" when she saw the brunette shake his head she answered him "The members who passed the sci-math are already listed there at the bulletin board"

"Really?" He seemed to think of something "So that's why Ruka told me that I was so boastful just because I was number one" He thinked again "I'm gonna check it out" he suddenly stood up and told the teacher that he was going to the bathroom

_'Ugh! Why did he have to leave me alone and die from boredom!'_ Sayori thought depressed. _'Oh I know! I'll try to talk to Yuuki'_

With that thought in mind she quickly poked Yuuki who was in the row in front of her

"Pssst. Yuuki" Sayori called to her in a hushed tone.

Yuuki getting irritated from the poking whispered back a 'WHAT'

"I'm bored"

"Well find someone else to bother" Yuuki replied to her irritated "I'm trying to listen to Ms. Dalaya's lectue"*

"Ms. Cross! Ms. Wakaba is there something the both of you would like to share to the class"

Both girls blushed a bright red due to embarassment

"N-No ma'm please continue" Sayori mumbled out

The teacher gave them the evil eye and then went back to discussing the lecture

_'Oh God, I'm bored again, maybe I'll just sleep'_ She then let sleep take over her eyes and she was silently thankful that she slept at the back row for the teacher could not see her when she was sleeping

At that very same time, Kaname came back to the room and went back to his seat and when he saw Sayori sleeping he smirked and then lightly blew on her ear to wake her up

Upon feeling that something blew to her ear and when looked up to see Kaname smirking at her startled then gave him her famous death glare. Kaname chuckled

"Well, did you see the results?" Sayori asked him, still irritated because he disturbed her sleep

"Yes and I must say that you guys are lucky that they took 17 as the passing score in the test when it sould be 20" He laughed mockingly as her glare darkened "What? I am only telling you the truth, what's the half of 40 isn't it 20? But I don't blame them, cause if they only took in the students that have 20 and above scores the members will only be a few" He laughed while explaining

"Whatever. You're really boastful you know that?" Sayori was really irritated by the superior tone Kaname while he was speaking

"How bout we celebrate your passing in the sci-math? You buy me french fries" Kaname sang that line on the tone of a nursery rhyme

Sayori looked at him bewildered "Idiot, why would I buy you fries. and besides I don't have money" Sayori irritatingly whispered to him, she suddenly smiled at him and said "Why not ask 'Z-chan' to buy you?" She proudly said thinking that she made a smart comeback, but when she looked at him she saw Kaname making kissy faces with Zero Kiryuu who was an aisle away from them, her head fell to the desk again thinking that she will finally have a bit of privacy to sleep

When Kaname was done with his Z-chan, he saw Sayori once again asleep on the armchair. Having none of that Kaname once again blew on her ear resulting Sayori on waking up and instintively whacking a notebook on Kaname's arm

"Grrr... Would you let me sleep?" Sayori asked annoyed

"You know I watched porn last night" Kaname silently told her while Sayori although mortified with what he was telling her kept silent

"It was really hot, I jacked off a big one after that" Kaname said making motions with his hands meanwhile Sayori just blushed harder and started cursing Kaname because she was really shocked that Kaname was really telling her this in real life

"And while I was doing that, I imagined how good Zero would feel like when I fuck her" Kaname absent mindedly asked her while looking at Zero who was laughing with Aidou* "I mean every night I dream of fucking her shitless"

Sayori blushed 10x redder than before, and again whacked Kaname's arm with the notebook she was holding

"Ow! What did you do that for?" Kaname rubbed his already battered arm

"You're such a pervert!" Sayori angrily stated "How could you ask me those kinds of questions?"

"Well I do imagine having a family with her" Kaname said "Just think only 17 years and I'm already carrying a baby that looks like me"

Sayori couldn't help but laugh when Kaname started to do an impression of how mortified he would look when he sees Zero carrying a baby boy who looks just like a combination between Zero and himself when they are just dating for a year

***OK SO THIS IS THE PART WHERE MY FRIEND STARTED SINGING ABOUT A FAMILY WITH HIS GF, IT WAS REALLY PERVERTED AND FUNNY I WANTED TO PUT IT HERE BUT IT WAS IN A TAGALOG FORM, SO I HAVE TROUBLE TRANSLATING IT. WHEN I FIGURE THAT ONE OUT I'LL POST IT IN THIS SPOT***

Sayori was really embarassed hearing such a perverted song and she was wondering why the room suddenly got noisy and then she realized that the teacher must've left while Kaname was singing. Feeling drained from the song she was about to once again go to LALA-land when suddenly Kaname uttered:

"Hey Sayori, do you know where I can buy condoms?" Kaname suddenly asked out of the blue

That woke her up again, and once again wacked Kaname's arm with the notebook

"Well you can buy in 711, I think that's where if not all then most people go to buy condoms" she wondered why she still answered his question

Kaname bacame quiet for 5 seconds and suddenly asked "Where else? It would be weird if I just go there and say 'Can I please buy Frenzy condoms, orange flavor please'"

Sayori suddenly laughed and thought of another place she thinks that maybe selling condoms "How bout Mercury Drug. I think they sell condoms there"

Kaname seemed to be agreeing to that idea and "Maybe you're right, and I could buy somethings there so I could atleast look decent enough, maybe cup noodles and a bottle of water at the supermarket, but where are the condoms?"

"Hm, I think their at the-" Sayori paused and thought that there are no condoms in the supermarket cause that would just be weird "Uh, Kaname-kun, I think that there are no condoms in the supermarket"

"Only in Mercury Drug right?" Kaname looked grim at this but then smirked

"Why are you smirking?" Sayori asked suspiciously

"I just had a great idea" He stated, and began explaining when Sayori asked what it was "Well, when our family goes shopping this weekend I'll slowly put the condoms in with the other items"

Sayori laughed again but then realized something "What if your mom finds out, what would you tell her?" She asked really interested on what the chocolated eyed boy make as an excuse

Kaname thought for a while and said "I would just tell her that dad is the one who placed it there"

Both of them laughed, No one payed attention to them because they were to busy doing a world war III with clay as their instruments. Objective: The one who has the most number of clay stuck in their hair loses. Sayori was wondering why Kaname wasn't joining them*

After their laughing session, Sayori suddenly blurted out "Be careful on that, you might end up like takuma and shiki"*

Kaname looked at her wondering at what she was saying and then suddenly getting what she meant "Oh you mean the vaginal lock?"

Sayori nodded

"You mean you watched it in the news too?"

Sayori blushed again "I just heared it from someone" she scowled

"Yhy do you think that happened?" Kaname asked

Sayori sighed "Well, after you orgasm your body feels too tired to continue for another round without atleast letting it rest."

"So the result, the vagina clamps down on the dick preventing it from exiting?" Kaname finished

Sayori nodded again

"Hey Sayori, Shiki was stll attatched to Takuma while that happened right?"

Another nod

"Don't you think that while they were on the way to the hospital, Shiki was still thrusting his dick in to Takuma's?"

Sayori suddenly laughed at that "And the doctors are really lucky right? They got to see those two's private parts" she said

Kaname was laughing hard now

Sayori suddenly added "And not only that but they got to watch free porn while tring to get that dick out of her"

They suddenly started laughing again, but this time they caught the attention of everyone. And when they finally stopped they got embarrased cause everyone was still looking at them.

Kaname suddenly stood up and walked over to where Zero was sitting, And Sayori decided that she was gonna go back to sleep while thinking:

'_God! I never want to seat next to him again next time, when I just want to sleep he turns me into a pervert"_

_**Chapter 2 ends here!**_

The marked words or phrases by an asterisk are as follows according to order:

Sci-math test - Science-math club qualification test for high school students

Dalaya - This is the surname I gave the physics teacher inspired from my own physics teacher

Aidou, Takuma, Zero - The three of them are girls here, Aidou and Zero are classmates their close but not the best of friends.

As I told you, this fic is what actually happened to me and our first honor when we were talking, and I based their characteristics with my classmates' personality basically theY are saying what we were saying when this happened

They don't know Takuma and Shiki because both of them are models and are home-schooled

**Another A/N: so why do I keep repeating that this conversation happened in real life? So you guys won't say that I'm an extreme pervert! LoL... There are some bits and pieces from the coversation that I didn't iclude since this fic is pointlessly long... I didn't want to make it longer... So that's it! There are also bits and pieces in that conversation that I had to lie about but 98% of that is purely true and it rly happened. So what chu need to do? You need to review! **

**Cast:**

**Sayori Wakaba : ME**

**Kaname Kuran : Honor Student**

**Zero Kiryuu: Honor Student's Girlfriend**

**Yuuki Cross : My friend**

**Aidou Hanabusa : Friend**

**Takuma & Shiki : Celebrities**


	3. Crap at its worst

Hey hey hey! I just wanted to update this... I was checking facebook's Status Shuffle app and I found this status... It's was way too funny I actually got an idea from it bah...

Warnings: Bitchy Yuuki (well, Bitchier that she already is :)) )

Disclaimer: I don't own vampire knight!

* * *

><p>Kaname was just about to turn the handle of the doorknob of the headmaster's office when suddenly...<p>

"Size doesn't matter Yuuki" His lover Zero Kiryuu whispered softly

Kaname's breath hitched

_'what the hell are they talking about?' _Kaname thought

"What? Size DOES matter" Yuuki hissed

"Well in this situation it does"

There was a complete and still silence. Kaname waiting for whatever reply is going to make

"Sorry if its too small... You don't have to blame me for it..."

"Its only natural" Zero whispered

Kaname's eye turned red from that statement

"And what do you suppose I do with this little thing. Its too small it won't satisfy me!" Yuuki shouted

"Yuuki stop bitching about it. It won't hurt you" Zero snarled

"With that size no it won't!" Yuuki snapped back

Kaname had enough of this conversation

_'I don't care if she's my sister, she's having an affair with my lover and she has the nerve to complain about his size?'_

Kaname suddenly barged in without warning but instead of two naked bodies pressed together he just saw his silverette and his sister sitting on chairs by the table.

Yuuki didn't seem to notice her brother and just went on with whatever she was saying

"I tell you Zero, these coffee cups that we brought are too small they just won't satisfy me" she threw her hands up

* * *

><p>Author's note:<p>

Crappy I know... But I guess that's what Status Shuffle does to you... I thought it was gonna be funny but I can see its just fucked up! Maybe the next one will be better... I hope :(

Hope I didn't waste any of your precious time...

P.S I'm finally gonna update the last chapter of Endless Love in February-March no exact month but I will! I suddenly felt a wave of inspiration.

So to those who have waited please wait a little longer. I assure you it will be worth it

And I haven't given up on any other stories I just ended 'Love friendship crossovers' cause its way too crappy of the plot. So thanks...

Read and review


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